Steam…

Closely watch the steam, as it gushes out from the only valve in the pressure cooker. The right amount of heat, the appropriate amount of pressure and there it goes whistling towards its victory.

In the urge to change its form, it chooses its exit and then decides to disperse all around. It escapes through the small kitchen window to find a fate on its own. Sometimes it gets lost in the air, sometimes it converts in rains and most times it returns back to its original pure form.

Every human is like that. He has a mind of his own. He thinks the way he does, in his own perspective he finds its own conclusions and acts on it. At the first chance to be free, he moves out to the unknown, carefully yet instantaneously chooses the path that feels right. He will always have fear of the unknown and sometimes prefer to return back to its comfort zone. But mostly he will have a drive to try the less travelled roads. On these amazing roads life really happens. They learn to live and if not living the way they expected, they learn the art of survival. Along the way, these people who need to find their exit also inspire their peers, sub ordinates and friends to find a better form. Those who grab the positive energy turn themselves into a newer self, just like the cooked rice when the steam has escaped.

It is sometimes that the pressure goes all wrong. The turmoil of the water droplets to change form is unnecessary and uncalled for. It cannot find an exit and it destroys everything on its way, even the food it was meant to cook and burst out of the pressure cooker causing destruction. Things are bound to go wrong sometimes, it is how you find the correct answer and change to your original form at the right time that matters. Accepting defeat is never wrong; it is defeat never having the will to try again.

To succeed in life, we always need some pressure to think right, we need some heat to stir things up, we need a goal to work on it when things seem to be right to try new things and we need a place to escape, to quit and to remove the shackles of our minds and of our realities.

After all we are just like that Steam 

A lighter version of me!

Recently one of my best friends put me up with an idea, that I take things too heavily, I gave it a thought around a month later, what he said about being the lighter version of me. I realised I had pushed myself way too much in these last few years and the end result is a sad person. I haven’t felt lighter and happier in like forever. Today onwards I decided I really wanted to.

I am thinking, if I have to push myself, why not in a direction I really wish to go. I have been meaning to go for a morning jog since a few days. I have been craving to write stuff that inspires me. I would love to meet all my friends here in this city over casual lunch, dinners and desert. I want to call a new person everyday and talk to them to see how things are going with them. I have been craving to travel, the streets, different cities, watch things that inspire me. I want to sit back and read. I want to get all wet in the rain and enjoy it. I want to learn to dance if need be. I just want to be happy and my life would automatically reflect that.

I wish to work harder in my office even though I do not really enjoy it, but I do enjoy the occasional praise that comes along. So why not just try and give a little more than 100% to work for the first time in years and try to make this work. At the end of the day it will bring me satisfaction.

Maybe I would still have a few setbacks and I would struggle some days, but I will find a new way.

Maybe I will just be me for a while, do it all for me and see how this goes. 🙂

Little things!

How many of us have a little dairy stacked somewhere behind a heap of books?

I think almost everyone. Every one sets to write the most wonderful things they want from life and that life wants from them. We write about people we love, the amazing quote that we plan to keep with us because it is inspiring, the love story you started off for yourself which never really took off or went as you expected and was left half behind. Maybe some letters from a cousin and messages from a friend. Also, the first disappointment you had when you didn’t make it somewhere you really wanted to, feeling dejected for not fulfilling your fathers wish.

You read through those lines feeling happiness, those immature, impractical things written like a decade ago can make you so content. These secrets remind us of a life we would chose for ourselves if reality never turned up. We as engineers wanted to fix things, as doctors wanted to help people and being a mail delivery man or the shopkeeper were no less ambitious targets and we all wanted to be in the defense and save the country. Around those memories there were drawings, sketches of beautiful flowers, the mystical mountains, the rising sun, the high end cars and even the guns. We all were artist, painters and poets. We hurried back to the rough pages of our notebooks to write those two lines we thought, that rhymed.

We wrote our stories, stories of our friends and with them too. We wrote about the distant cousin we thought was wrong and about the one whom we admire. We even wrote about our maid’s daughter because you knew at a very ripe age that she won’t make it to school. We wrote about the most amazing birthday parties and the absolutely boring wedding receptions. We discussed about clothes and the white canvas shoes, we discussed that horrible haircut we once had.

Between those lines we scribbled our biggest fears, the fear of being accepted, and the fear of becoming someone we would love for the rest of our life.

The dairy stocked with so much truth that we could ever tell ourselves today. We had range of every emotion from happiness to anger in small things.

If we are the same person just grown up in age, we really need to think, the nth time.

 

The Mind Games!

Evolving into a self-obsessed person, silent sits in the corners of a crowd, is a good conversationalist when in a group, a person everyone is sure has all the answers and someone to fall back on all the time, is really not high on everyone’s list. We all need someone to fall back on and not always everyone expecting you to stand up for them.

As admired as this person is in the group, he is always the most despised one.The worst that happens to the fall back guy is he has to be right, always. He has to maintain the air of mystery around him and still be approachable. He is the guy with no problems. Truth however is different.

He starts with caring, thinking and applying his understanding of things. Eventually he turns into a self-nightmare, the thoughts clogging his mind now not fitting his age creating an active volcano inside his mind. Everything has to be right and precise, without a doubt he has to convince the one person in front of him that he is right and to be able to do this he has to not only think from all angles but also overthink everything.

He starts being at several places at once, his intuitive instinct is now a history. He thinks before even getting up from bed to until he is finally asleep, his nights are full of thoughts and struggle with self. His days are now a tragedy. He cannot concentrate on any one task and has to move from one thought to another. Eventually even if he is practically right, his super brain has let him to believe in an alternate universe, a universe without logic and only self-belief. He starts having second opinions and second thoughts. They render him helpless.

The man now finds solace in his staggering silence, he lets his mind win with its infinite thoughts. He no longer understands the world around him or even accepts it. He gives up on a life as he knows it.

Our brain is like a nuclear reactor, it can do miracles, but it can change who you are. Rare few people who can control this amazing power of the brain attain highest level of knowledge and patience. Others find a way to conceal it through singular dreams.

Everyone faces a time when they could break traditional image and show a little emotion, care for other people. After all we are social animals and even if society and traditions bind us, they are to make sure we let our minds wander only till we can keep pace with them.

 

How difficult it is to write a blog…

I stared at blank pages for far too long. I stared at blank pages of my dairy where initially I missed writing some very important days of my life and later then forgot why I took to writing at the first place? I stared at my computer screen a little while longer, this was when I really went blank.

Elders always say, the easiest way to express yourself is to do what you really love. Some people take to talking, discussing stuff, other some express the inner turmoil through art, pictures and dance and yet few express themselves through writing. A writer is always in a continuous state of thought, the confusion that is galloping his mind, the thought process he has begun on and sometimes his reality diverting him from his unreal yet peaceful world. A world on its own the writers paradise, there are emotions ranging from happiness to guilt, from rage to peace, from honesty to immorality and from love to craze and so many more. A pool of sheer madness and serene beauty in just one thought.

When I started my blog I just wanted to write what I feel. Eventually I ended up writing according to what other people felt was right. No, I do not mean someone really did influence my writing, I mean that I never expected people to read half the stuff I write. I always compared my new write-up to a previous one and found it was inadequate to be put in public and then it stayed with me for a longer duration than I ever expected. I realized I let my will to write crumble in my drive to reality and I will give due credit to every word I write. Sometimes we give up not because of someone else because we underestimate ourselves. We should try to change that, I will !

Every piece of writing is an inspiration, the unrhymed poem, a few incomplete lines, the unsung lyrics or the just about to be complete book your or someone else’s.

So how difficult it is to write a blog, it is as simple as writing this one!  🙂

The Lady at the door!

Her whole day summarized to this particular moment. The sun was bright. She hurried up the stairs; her life depended on that single second. She looked at her watch, her heart beats faster than someone running the Marathon, and it was time. She meant to be elegant in the bright purple sari with shining border she was wearing. The neatly caressed sari reflected the pride of the woman.

The reality dawned upon her, she could hear it coming. She was just on time. The place she was meant to be at that very moment. The air rushed by with a mind of its own, her clothes betraying her mission. She gathered herself together. The whirlwind of women bursting on her from the door in the direction opposite of her, cursing, she stood firm breathing faster, this was her moment she climbed up with one-quarter of her feet on the floor and was almost pushed by everyone who did the same she was about to. As she realized she was successful in her mission, she gave an evil grin to everyone else who was left out. Then she looked around at the crowd, her face beaming with a satisfaction and she was happy. She had achieved her bit of the day.

She nodded at the lady she had almost pushed back to the ground and apologized for hitting her unknowingly and muttering that her intention was not wrong. Then she stood by the door enjoying her half blown hair, the pungent smell of the locality she was passing by and watching others repeat the same drill till she reached her destination station. The people who enter and quarrel, the saleswoman who has her life depended on the number of clips she sells today, the old lady who somehow managed to get to the train but missed climbing it as she watched people push her away. Everyone is in a war of their own. She was angry, then silent and calm in just a few seconds.

I developed a respect for people who travel by local trains in Mumbai every single day. They are in a battle to reach their destination and the best part is they do not give up; they climb up no matter the competition. Several people get in for purpose of their own, with a hope of achieving what they can do best with their day. They go they conquer and they know that it is just the beginning; their real battle is waiting for them at their destination. Think.

No better time to say NO!

I am writing this post sitting in my office on a Thursday afternoon, I have tilted the rotating chair in my office, put my office communicator to DND – do not disturb, putting my headphones from my laptop to my phone and listening to the most amazing songs in a while.

For a long time I have been advocate of small breaks from work, not necessarily running off to office café or a chat on the phone, but just standing and roaming about the workplace, watching the view from office ( Luckily I have the most spectacular view from my workstation). For all the reasons of efficiency and dedication apart, it gives you time for yourself. Only the person who knows the importance of sneaking out in front of strict manager can understand the real importance of a Cold Coffee.:)

For all sincere people, dedicated to working their life out, every time you start working it is important to decide how much time this task needs and try to finish it off in the realistic deadlines you set for yourself. This is beyond organizational targets, expectations. Efficiency and performance is doing the best you can do in given time. Best creations are always a product of quality of work and good use of time. When you are out dancing, do not worry about work. When you are travelling, think about the trees and roads rather than the list of pending items in office, also when at work, stop thinking about the food you need to cook at night or the gift you wanted to send to your parents. Do a thousand things, but concentrate on the one you are doing right now, other things will happen eventually.

We all work under pressure so many times, give up on breaks, on food, we miss some most interesting events in our personal life, on friends, we all cancel plans at the last moment just for some remainder of work to meet expectations of the manager. It is just the time to say ‘No’. Say No to every unrealistic demand presented in front of you personally and professionally. It takes a lot of courage to stand up for yourself and that is what is going to work for you. If you feel it is going out of your control, simplest solution is to discuss and set another target. We all should develop the quality of sticking to our personal and professional commitments.

After all it is our choice to be exceptionally Average or averagely exceptional. Think 🙂

Moon…

Moon…
As a child I remember watching the heavily lit sky, stars shining and the moonlight entering and brightening every corner of the cot as I then slept carefree in the back garden of my Grandfathers Farm House, feeling as safe as actually sleeping in my grandmother’s arms. Moon and moonlight has always been a friend since.

My favourite times always have to do with moonlit skies. Inside my room, he had always been through all my moods, comforting me at all times. It have known all my wishes, my dreams, my fancies, my love and watched all of my life go by. It has made me miss the most important people and moments in my life keeping me as I am. When on trips and journey, all nights I have looked at him and smiled remembering the craziest thought that just entered my mind. Watching deep valleys and water, in nights is my definition of dreamland.

Today, when life is exactly reverse of all dreams, where all energy is drained out and I question my own strengths and my choices. The gateway for me is the terrace. I find the night a friend to disappear in sometimes. I would look at it the moon like he is my reflection and confront him sometimes, or tell him the truth I always want to hide. Somehow the moon, moonlight and the winds just seem to understand and find a way out of the maze of life, leaving a smile on my face.

I feel like a beautiful girl as I then watch the fully lit terrace, no one around. This is my stage, a place where no one is going to judge me, where I can be amazing, intelligent, horrible or scary all I want at the same time. It fills me with endless energy. I start thinking with clarity. I can dance to an unheard tune, played in my mind or sing a song in my voice without a melody. Not scared anymore, I amble to any part deep inside me. From somewhere here comes the dream of writing! A dream to start filling my canvas with words of my own.

Lilies…

She blooms with grace, the strength in her feet, simple thoughts, the aim to reach the sky, sweetening the aura of the surrounding, driven towards the sun and the rain, and calm yet fearless, lily.

Some people are like lilies, they have strength which cannot be compared, they have spirit that cannot be missed, they have energy of the whole world and they still are so delicate and simple. They make you forget all your troubles, when you see them smile. They have a closet full, but they would never stop from listening to yours. These are the girls, who know that your closet really does not have a lock. They know when you like to be heard and when you like to be listened to. Mind you she scold you too.They bring out the best in you, maybe from your closet or from your pocket. They are your escape from the world, only they know how talking about something very loudly and then laughing about how silly it is; can be an amazing stress buster. She knows about every pretty pink you are hiding even from yourself. She has a list of these amazing guys she met, she wants to introduce to you. She wants your approval for nothing except her boyfriend, but you still give your approvals for her everything.

She knows the food, the music and the birthdays. She cooks for you even when she is at your place because she knows how bad your food tastes and she wants you to eat good food for a change. Only she knows how important a chocolate and ice cream could be. She would make you roam about the city at midnight to have one. She would come miles away just because your voice did not sound good on the phone.She makes you feel calm, she becomes a place where you are not judged and even the worse of things seem easy when you can look into her eyes and smile. The smile is always returned with care, care is always returned with love. She would ditch meeting you because something went wrong, but would definitely cry when she realizes she wouldn’t see you for a while. Her emotions rule her, and what are sentiments if not accompanied by some tears. Her pieces of advice you would never forget, she actually did give the best advice, you would have to give her the same after a while. They are the people who could blend with your family and even your husband.

She has a fight of her own, the world of her own, but you become a portal for her to disappear.

A relation where distance and time do not matter, you are so busy making memories together that there is no time for fights and anger. She may not know everything about you, but she knows you will come around someday and tell her even the slightest of detail. When you stand in front of her there is no comparison, no dount, no guilt no form of love can beat the bond what these girls have for you. They are proud to be called girl-friend even if people use it for sarcasm. They are more like a half-sister, they are more a part of your personality than you may think.

Lilies are beautiful when they are one and when they are a bunch of them, every lily is equally important and they hold each other close when essential and loose when required.

These are the only few who make you feel how wonderfully beautiful life is. This one is for you my lilies. You are only ones I never want to ‘CHANGE’. Thanks for making my world a better place. Love you.

-Jeshtha

Lilies..

The Experimental One!

Cleaning your stuff is one of the most annoying tasks you have to do at any point in your life. Sometimes the stuff gets interesting and sometimes the pile of clothes remind you of all other things you can do in which you are going to spend time cleaning them.I looked at the same kind of clothes I own, similar colours with too much of green and blue, nothing bright, nothing shiny and nothing shady. The accessories I own come in a small box in which usually girls cannot even fit in the clips and the rubber bands. I was always happy being that way, being accepted the way that I am now.

With the word ‘CHANGE’ on my mind recently, I did a bit of over thinking.

I really should try wearing different kind of clothes, not sometimes but a couple of days together. Why do I always leave a chance to try new things? So what if it turned out to be a disaster, instead what if it turned out to be perfect. Well, comfort is more important that any fashion, but how would you know if you do not try.Trust me; it is not just about the clothes. We stereotype ourselves every day we let ourselves out of our comfort zones, may it be vehicles, clothes, accessories, electronics and so much more. In a conversation with group of people you let others talk sometimes because we think it is better to listen and somewhere in the middle of that, you do realize you read about that sometime back and the person who is blabbering in front of the group is the hero, because you let your chance go just for the fear of being ridiculed.

It is really fine to not fit in. We are not meant to please everyone, leaving our peace of mind at bay. You will always find a group of people who will love you no matter if you are clever, dumb, beautiful or crazy. Let your peace be in yourself, instead of others. It is really about who you want to be, who you want to be treated as and who you want to be loved as.

Be yourself!! Be happy!! Decide what changes you want to bring in yourself, do not forget to experiment though!